Yep, that's right. I'm writing again. With a brand new space to organize my thoughts, a new name that's more me (and matches my url this time. Woohoo!). I haven't written anything truly personal in ages. It's been liberating, freeing, disappointing, and overwhelming. Take your pick.
It's been wonderful to be so immersed in the moments of life so deeply that I'm etching out memories for my children of a mom who was very much present. But at the same time, I'm feeling desperate for something that's completely mine, a place where I'm not just mom, but Amanda.
I've always been one of those people who gets overwhelmed easily. I take on more than I can chew, all things that I genuinely want and desire to do and achieve, but realistically don't have the time to devote 100% of myself to. I've neglected responsibilities, friendships, tasks, and a whole plethora of other things. And knowing that I did that is a pretty sucky feeling. But knowing that I can overcome that is what this adventure is going to be all about.
I need to make changes. The very first of which being accepting myself for who I am, who God made me to be. Sometimes I fail at things. Sometimes (a lot of the time) I start projects and never finish them. And sometimes there are not enough hours in the day. Being a good wife and a great mom come first, everything else has to fall in line somewhere after. I'm flawed. And that's a-ok.
So I'm giving this space another attempt. Because I love it and I miss it. And I think that I really do need the outlet that it provides me with. But I'm going to change how I view it, because I think that's important if I want it to succeed, thus why I've given this space the title of journal, rather than blog.
Truthfully, I have no idea what this space is going to turn into. I'm hoping to let it grow organically, because it's for me, but I sure hope you'll follow along. I wear a lot of hats around here: wife, mama, worker, chef, friend, maid, chauffeur, artist, accountant, etc. It's a lot and it's more loud than quiet, and it's crazy busy, but it's never ever dull.
I'm currently home alone, my hubby is working night shifts again for a little while, which none of us are too thrilled about at all, and the kiddos are still at school. Little House on the Prairie is playing on the television, because it's a total guilty pleasure of mine. In fact I'll probably zone out and watch another episode after this one. And then it'll be time to cook dinner. Because that's life.
This blog is my story, and it's always changing and evolving and very very real. And it's mostly pretty darn awesome.